


Möbius Loop (Roxy)

by GemmaRose



Series: Möbius Loop [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, SBURB screws everyone, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from a prompt by my friend Tora.</p><p>"Imagine if at the end of the Alpha timeline the Alpha kids went back in time and picked up the beta kids and thats how it all links in. So Dirk Strider <b>is</b> Bro and Jane <b>is</b> Nana but like, I know they already are but I mean as in, in the beta universe so the Alpha kids do all this fighting and win the game only to create the Beta universe"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Möbius Loop (Roxy)

It’s been 5 years since you passed through into your new world and lost contact with most of your friends. In fact, almost all of your friends. The only one who responded to you at all was Dirk, but you began to drift apart around the time when a bottle of alcohol was more readily available than your phone.

You guess it’s ok, living here. SBURB will never be invented, and though you miss your bitchin’ Void powers and your awesome friends, at least you’re pretty sure that they’re living peacefully somewhere as well.

\-----

It’s been ten years since you lost (won?) the game, and you can’t remember the better part of the last five. You’re not sure what possessed you to drive all the way out here, so far from the replica of your childhood home, but as the shooting star crashes down you think you understand, and it fills you with a sick sense of dread.

You almost miss your trusty cell phone vibrating the tune of a new text, and when you manage to decipher the letters through your drunken haze the dread solidifies into a ball you just KNOW wont go away.

From: DiStri  
Roxy, it’s going to happen here too.

\-----

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and your star-girl’s name is Rose. You would’ve like to name her Callie, in honour of your space-alien friend from another lifetime, but you know she has to be named Rose. Because if she’s not Rose, then she never happened. Callie Lalonde could never be the Seer of Light who lead her friends to victory in an unwinnable game. So you scrawl the name Rose on her birthday cards with a drunkard’s shaky hand, and make sure Rose has all the wizard stuff she could possibly want. You wish she’d call Frigglish by his proper name (the poor cat should never have been called Jaspers) but it can’t be helped. She’s as stubborn at 4 as she was at 16, and when Frigglish disappears you can only slur out that he’s in a better place. She wouldn’t understand that that better place is with a younger you, so you don’t try to explain. And when Frig reappears the memory of his death comes back clear as crystal through the alcohol’s fog.

You give him the burial you always wanted to give him, then go back inside and drink away the painfully good memories of your past life.

\-----

You try so hard to raise her right, to be the mother you always imagined she would’ve been had you not arrived a few hundred years too late. You try, but despite your best inebriated efforts you’re pretty sure you fail. She only grows more distant as she grows older, and by the time she meets her friends you’re locked in a neverending battle of passive-aggressive oneupsmanship. You slide back onto your old chumhandle when you know she’s online but not occupied, and despite numerous ‘random’ encounters she never adds you to her pals (but you’re not in her trollslum either, and that’s good, right?)

You stock your room as a bar so you no longer have to trek to the kitchen to get a refill while you’re pestering her. She’s not old enough yet to understand how much Roxy sacrificed for her, and by the time she is, Mom will be long dead.

\-----

It is thirteen years to the day since the day she rode into your life on a meteor, clutching that dirty old bunny. She is thirteen, and celebrating with her pesterchum friends instead of playing with the gifts you bought her. Where did you go wrong in raising her? Did you go wrong at all, or was it always fated to be this way? Perhaps there’s another timeline, where your starchild’s name is Callie and you are a proper, loving Mom who deserves such a wonderful, snarky, talented, BRILLIANT daughter. But you don’t live in that timeline, and she doesn’t have the slightest inkling that such a life might have existed. So when she ignores the wizard statue you bought for Christmas you’re not too surprised, and when she secludes herself in her room to watch the Ball Drop on New Year’s with her friends, you’re not upset. You wish she had real friends, friends who could physically hold her and comfort her when you fail, but you know it could never have been. She always needed to be alone, so she could become a calculating young woman capable of wielding Eldrich powers. You spend more and more time in a drunken stupor, and when you’re sober enough to move without falling over you go to the factory. It’s a replica of the one you knew when you were young, (sadly without the carapacians and mutant kitties) and the timer has ticked down to just a few months left.

You drink more, trying to completely banish the painfully fuzzy memories of your old friends. Rose will meet her friends soon, and you know you will have to be absent for it. But for some reason, you can’t bear to be sad about it. Your little girl is almost the young woman you met nearly thirty years ago. Your time is about to be over, and hers is soon going to properly begin.

\-----

You make sure to arrive home from the factory just before Rose enters the game, and her Land dazzles you. So bright, so many colours, so different from the Land you knew as your own once upon a time. You follow a half-memory (possibly gleaned from a dream bubble, but the alcohol has destroyed your mind too thoroughly to be certain) to a cave, and the transportalizer takes you to a place unfamiliar. But the old man at the captain’s wheel has a familiar buck-toothed grin, and his double-pistols-and-a-wink is as charming as it was so very many years ago. He looks much more like an adventurer now, and you realise you probably look much more like a drunkard than you ever did before.

You follow his instructions to the bathroom and freshen up your makeup, as well as take a few swigs from the flask in your rarely-used sylladex. When you return to the deck Jake smiles at you, and you smile back. You’d forgotten how beautiful his smile was, and suddenly wish you’d kept the picture of all four of you. You miss Jane and Dirk, but upon asking Jake if he’s collecting them as well all you get is a shrug and a shake of the head. You leave him to his steering and go to stand at the bow, reacquainting yourself with the HorrorTerrors of the Furthest Ring. They know you still, those who have carried over to this incipisphere, and they tell you the most magnificent stories of this session’s young Derse dreamers, one of whom is your starchild daughter. They whisper things both horrifying and wondrous, and you let the Void fill your soul as it once did so very long ago. You’re home.

The man who approaches is familiar in a passing manner, but the attraction is far more than just passing. This is the Dad who your Janey so often spoke of, but also the one Rose’s friend John complains about almost regularly. He is everything you ever wished to be as a parent, and despite the foggy foreknowledge of your shared fate you entertain the possibility of a union. Rose and John as step-siblings, you sober for once as you walk down the aisle in that gown you alchemized once on a lark. Roxy would never leave Jane for Mr. Crocker, but Mom and Dad are a match made by the very Gods themselves. So you hold his hand as Jake steers you towards Skaia, and say your final farewells to the Dark Ones. Perhaps you’ll see your daughter again, though the solemn look on Jake’s usually happy face is enough to send Roxy running for the hills and leave Mom in her place. As you wave goodbye to Jake’s ship you make a promise to yourself. No more pining for a bygone life. It’s time to leave Roxy where she should’ve gone years ago, and become the Mom you always wanted to be. Starting with properly courting a very suitable, very eligible Dad.

\-----

Your name was Roxy Lalonde. You were the Thief of Void, a teenage drunk, and you helped create an entire universe. Thirteen years, four months, and nine days ago Roxy died and became Mom. Today, you finally buried the ghost of your former life and accepted your new name. Mom Lalonde, however, has only been alive for one hour and thirty four minutes. Mom Lalonde was never an immortal teenage Goddess, and even if she had been she wouldn’t have known how to defeat the winged black dog-man who now bares his teeth and brandishes his sword.

You are Mom Lalonde, and as your world fades you know you are not destined for anything more than a normal human afterlife. You hope you can find Dad there, but even more so you hope that Roxy can finally meet her Janey again.


End file.
